To all the stay-at-home moms who may sometimes feel guilty for not “earning a living”:
Let's be honest, Alice did all the work.
What you do is invaluable. You may not be receiving a check you can cash, but your work will pay off one day when you least expect it. (Not to mention you’re saving your family approximately $150 a week per child in day-care expenses. That’s over $15,000 a year for two kids.)
You may long for a staff meeting in lieu of changing a poopy diaper sometimes and that’s okay. But when your children are grown and off creating fabulous lives for themselves, you have the satisfaction of knowing that you laid the foundation for their self-confidence. When they are in loving, committed relationships with people they trust and feel secure in who they are and what they want out of life, you will know it’s because of you. You’ll know that all the heartache you felt over the years was worth it, that you made a difference in someone’s life, and in turn, made the world a better place. You knew when to hold that child close and when it was time to let them go. And hopefully they’ll remember all that when you’re the one wearing diapers.
For all the moms who work 40 hours a week and have to send their kids to day-care:
Super hip, super cool Mrs. Huxtable.
Please don’t feel guilty. Your family depends on you and your children love you and won’t hate you for missing out on anything – that’s all in your head. You’re the only mom they know and the only mom they’ll ever have. Cherish the time you spend with them and don’t waste it being bitter about the things you can’t do. No $6 an hour sitter can replace the love you lavish on your children when you’re home – even when you’re exhausted because your idiot boss needs you to put meetings on his calendar because he hasn’t taken the time to learn how to do it himself. Take a deep breath and remember, it’s not easy and you’re doing the best you can. They will appreciate all you’ve sacrificed in order to provide them with a better life. Just call in sick every once in awhile and take your kids to the zoo.
For all the moms who pay an extra 50¢ for character inspired macaroni and cheese and fruit snacks:
It seems like there's less in these than the regular stuff.
You’ll buy generic razors for yourself to make up for it, because you know your kids will eat an entire bowl of Spongebob or Spiderman pasta without complaining that it’s boring or gross. And the pricey Dora fruit snacks? Well, processed fruit just doesn’t taste right to a toddler if it’s not shaped like the head of a cartoon character. That extra money you spend for them is being put to good use; so what if you used a whole roll of toilet paper on one shin?
For all the moms who unload the dishwasher at 10 o’clock at night:
Who needs 8 hours of sleep? Not you!
You may not have dirtied all those dishes, (well, actually, you made dinner so technically, you did dirty some of them), but you put every last one in that dishwasher, put in the soap and turned it on. But as you were cleaning up toys, you found a sippy cup full of milk stuck under the couch and rushed it in to the kitchen to throw it in the dishwasher before the rinse cycle completed to make sure your little one had his favorite cup at breakfast. You avoided a meltdown and salmonella at the same time. I salute you for that.
For all the moms whose hair is slapped back in a ponytail and whose lips haven’t seen lipstick in over 5 years:
Because a ponytail is better than bed head.
You know it’s more important to brush your daughter’s hair and put in ribbons or barrettes that match her dress so she’ll feel like the pretty princess she is. It’s time to let her shine. We can see how pretty you once were just by looking at her. We know how you used to take care of yourself – we all did. Using hair products or even a brush has become a thing of the past. Foundation? Shimmery lip gloss? Mascara? Who has the time? Just think of all the money you’re saving. Money you can now spend on headbands and bows and Hello Kitty lip smacker that your four year-old HAS to have. Besides, it’s what’s on the inside that counts, right? Keep telling yourself that. You’ll believe it one day. I know I will.
And finally:
To all the moms who vacuum six times before noon, do five loads of laundry, make breakfast, lunch and dinner, change diapers, go to the store, pay bills, clean your kids’ rooms (twice), get snacks for the kids, play outside, take their child to the doctor, color, make an appointment with the finance guy, make play-doh aliens, tie shoelaces over and over, help their child write letters and/or numbers, get interrupted during their one bathroom break of the day to find the red block, pick up the dry cleaning, dry tears over a scraped finger/knee/arm/leg, search the entire house to find a favorite lost truck, arrange play dates for their kids even when they don’t like the parent they then have to sit and chat with, make three dozen cupcakes for their child’s bake sale that they just found out about (it’s tomorrow!), and then have to answer a husband who asks, “You didn’t iron my shirt for tomorrow?”
I have bail money ready. Just give me a call.
. . . that children are brand new to this place. Everything they see or hear is a revelation to them, something to get excited or scared about with surprising enthusiasm.
