Yes, that's a ponytail holder in his hair. Should that really be the concern here?
My 1 1/2 year-old son has decided to start licking everything. He squats down, puts his arms back into a sort of diving position and runs toward the object he’s going to lick, then firmly plants his tongue on it. The couch and the stove are his two favorites. I’m guessing I should ignore this, but I’m a little concerned.
He’ll lick the stove when it’s on, step back and look at me with an, “I don’t think I’m enjoying this sensation” expression and then do it again. And again. Each time stepping back with that same look of befuddlement. I don’t know how many times I’ve told him “no” or removed him from the stoval-area; nothing works. He reminds me of the kid in “A Christmas Story” who sticks his tongue to the pole. Is my son destined to be the kid who does that on a dare at school?
And what if it doesn’t stop there? What if he’s that kid who’s always willing to do the stupidest thing possible, just for a laugh? Or what if the other kids think he’s weird and just egg him on to amuse themselves? He already jumps off bar stools in the kitchen and launches himself off the couch. He’s trying to get hurt – the more painful the fall looks to me, the harder he laughs. I’ve been working on my poker face so after each landing when he turns to see my reaction there will be nothing. He’ll just call my bluff.
I’m not a panicky mom. If they aren’t bleeding or a bone isn’t protruding from the skin, I just tell them in a calm voice that they’re okay and to pick themselves up. But what if he gets really hurt? I’m talking broken bones and stitches, blood gushing and unconsciousness. I know babies are first-time parents proof, but what about us second-timers? And does that rule apply to toddlers? What’s the cut off age? Or maybe it’s a height requirement, like riding the Tornado at Adventureland.
What if DCS comes knocking on my door? I mean, you take a picture of your kid’s first bath and have them developed (developed? What decade am I living in? I mean printed) at Wal-Mart and they turn you in for child pornography. It’s true – look it up. I get nervous at the pediatrician’s office when my kids have bruises. I’m paranoid that the doctor will think one of them has just one bruise too many and make the call.
Granted, my daughter is as graceful as I am and thankfully she’s fallen down in front of the doctor, so I think he kinda gets that. She could barely take two steps without falling over when she was learning to walk. We learned when she was three that she needed glasses, so it wasn’t funny anymore. It was sad really, because we’d laugh at poor “Mini Jen” when really she couldn’t see where she was going (again, does that qualify for a DCS call – laughing at my sight-challenged daughter?).
I guess the only thing to do is to let him keep jumping off stuff and running full speed into walls, even if he gets hurt. I’ll have to ignore his fondness for furniture licking and wait for the bigger stuff like sports and driving and girls. Oh good lord. . . .
So there’s that.
