theclumsyredhead.com

One of the perks of having kids is that you get to watch cartoons without anyone hassling you about it being immature. Thankfully, my kids enjoy the older cartoons – you know, the good ones like Scooby-Doo and Bugs Bunny and the Pink Panther. My kids crack up the same way I did when I watched them oh-so many years ago.

The other day Tess asked me why they always do “all those tricky things” on Scooby-Doo. She was referring to the elaborate traps The Gang sets up in order to catch that episode’s “ghost.” (Why were they always called ghosts? Most were more like monsters, but whatever.) I had no response. When I was a kid, I just accepted it. As an adult, I just accept it. But when my 4 year-old points out the strangeness of it, it got me thinking: I was pretty stupid as a kid who grew up to be a pretty stupid adult.

I used to pretend I was Daphne when I was a kid. She was the only pretty redhead out there at the time.

I thought I learned:

When you’re trapped in a well, basement, library or attic, always look for the more brightly painted brick, piece of wood or book. That’s the button for the secret door that opens up and leads you to the rest of your group. While I’ve never been stuck in any of these places, I think it’s safe to say that since the real world is not colored in by animators, that might not be the best way to find a way out of your situation.

What you should really do: Carry a cell phone and a knife/gun/pocket toolkit at all times. Or, you may need to MacGyver it up, so be on the lookout for random objects strewn about the room.

I hated the Road Runner. I always rooted for Wile E. My cynicism started at a young age.

I thought I learned: If you’re chasing something across a high wire or around a cliff, always have an umbrella or a woman’s corset. These items will allow you to either gently float down to the ground, or allow you to soar like a bird to safety (for a little while). It’s also possible to blow up a single balloon yourself, without Helium, and float up into the air in pursuit of your prey or to escape.

What you should really do: Not chase things across a high wire or around a mountainous region. No prey is worth the risk of your umbrella folding up on you or the corset coming untied. Also, I don’t normally carry those things on me whether I’m in pursuit of my lunch or not, and I’m not sure anyone else does either.  The characters also tend to run into the sides of mountains, so really, it doesn’t work anyway. Although, the injuries are never fatal, so technically, it does kinda work.

A single balloon will not lift a human being off the ground, especially if it’s not filled with Helium. I learned that in high school chemistry. So, if you need to become airborne, I suggest a plane, or at the very least, a hot air balloon, though I’m not sure you’re allowed to hunt on either of those contraptions due to Homeland Security and whatnot. Best to have your food delivered – it’s somewhat safer.

Now, those are just a couple of things. I won’t bore you with the rest of my stupidity. It’s common sense, really. Most kids don’t have much of it and most adults I know don’t either. That’s why cartoons are funny. Suspension of disbelief is just an automatic response to cartoons when you’re a kid, I guess. Or it’s just letting your imagination go wild and enjoying life. I suggest to my readers: watch at least one cartoon a day and laugh out loud. It’s better than searching in vain for a brightly colored escape hatch.

Bookmark It

Hide Sites