theclumsyredhead.com

Good question. Let me answer in threefold:

A) Trapped in freelancer hell. That’s right. After 8 months without a steady income, I suddenly received several offers for freelance “writing” jobs. Writing is in quotes because it’s not really writing so much as typing. Typing, copying, pasting and inserting pictures and URLs. I feel like I’m 20 years old again (not in a good way) working in an overly air-conditioned office building (sans the over air-conditioning) just for the ultimate goal: money. I haven’t gotten a paycheck yet for one of the jobs, but when I do, I’m headed straight to Target (I heart Target’s crap) and buying everything I fancy. I might buy stuff I don’t fancy,  just because I can. Why did I take on so much work, you ask? Because I need the money. Money is nice. It doesn’t buy you happiness, but it does buy you time. And stuff.

2) Sobbing quietly because Tess has started kindergarten. I’ve lost my buddy. I know people say “it’s the start of something awesome” but the pessimist/cynic in me knows that it means I’m on my way out as the most important person in her life. Yeah, yeah, she’ll always need her Mommy, but c’mon. Did you whisper secrets in your mom’s ear when you were in 7th grade? No, you didn’t. If you did, you were a total dork who didn’t have a lot of friends. And while that sounds great for mommies, I certainly wouldn’t want my daughter to have to deal with being a dork during her formative years. Not that popularity is the most important thing, but I just remember the “weird” kids when I was in school and I don’t want her to have to deal with douche bag kids who think they’re cool because they have a lot of douche bag friends who are just like them. That can be a lot of douche bags. And we all know about douche bags.

C) Chasing Jack around the house and screaming “NO!” and “STOP IT!” because he has officially hit “the terrible twos.”  Tess didn’t go through that. She’s a mommy/daddy pleaser, whereas Jack is a, “Screw you, Mommy and Daddy, throwing trains down the air vents and hiding food in the couch and in my nose is fun” kind of kid. I have no frame of reference for that. My lack of sleep coupled with my lack of patience means yelling is easier than patiently explaining why putting a Yogo in his nose is not the same as putting it in a bowl for later.

So there you have it. I will try to post more frequently – once a week. Lots of kindergarten stories.  Mostly kindergarten mom stories, because I can’t really be snarky about writing numbers and gluing shit together.

Summer Breeze Martini

6 parts citrus vodka
2 parts melon liqueur
1 part dry vermouth
1/4 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
Melon ball

Combine liquid ingredients in a cocktail shaker with cracked ice and shake well. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass and garnish with melon ball.

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